


Save Goshiki he didn't deserve this

by KinHina210



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Help goshiki, RIP, This is so stupid uuhh, poor child, this is messed up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-12-18 21:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11883591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinHina210/pseuds/KinHina210
Summary: Tendou: WhyTendou: would his anus be bleedingSemi: Why wouldn't his anus be bleeding?Tendou: ITendou: Don't knowSemi: exactlyGoshiki: These conversations that you two have. Save meSemi changed Goshiki's name to my anus bleeds save me





	1. Why wouldn't his anus be bleeding?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [King_Of_Trash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_Of_Trash/gifts), [olivejuice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivejuice/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tendou: Why
> 
> Tendou: would his anus be bleeding
> 
> Semi: Why wouldn't his anus be bleeding?
> 
> Tendou: I
> 
> Tendou: Don't know
> 
> Semi: exactly
> 
> Goshiki: These conversations that you two have. Save me
> 
> Semi changed Goshiki's name to my anus bleeds save me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is heavily based off of a group chat that I'm in and these are legitimate conversations that we have. 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoy

Semi opened up his messages, reading the things that Tendou, Goshiki, and Shirabu sent during the day. He stared at the screen, chuckling at the messages.

 

                         **_9:40 AM_ **

_Goshiki:_ Aaah my nose is bleeding.

 _Tendou:_ oh no! You poor child.

 _Semi:_ At least it's not your anus

 _Goshiki:_ what!?

 _Tendou:_ Why

 _Tendou:_ would his anus be bleeding

 _Semi:_ Why wouldn't his anus be bleeding?

 _Tendou:_ I

 _Tendou:_ Don't know

 _Semi:_ exactly

 _Goshiki:_ These conversations that you two have. Save me

_Semi changed Goshiki's name to my anus bleeds save me_

_Semi:_ there

 _my anus bleeds save me:_ WHY

 _Tendou:_ because

                          

   **_9:58 AM_ **

_Semi:_ can we fill a bucket with rats, attach it to someone's stomach, and heat the outside of the bucket up?

 _Semi:_ and put something up their butt at the same time.  

 _Tendou:_ yes. As long as its a rat that goes in their butt.  

 _Tendou:_ and have cheese lodged in their prostate so the rat will chew through their intestines.

 _Semi:_ I like you a lot more now.

_Semi changed Tendou's name to butt rats_

_butt_ rats: yes     

 _Semi:_ perfect

 _Semi_ _changed his own name to the torturer_

 _the torturer:_ even better

 _my anus bleeds save me:_ i

 _my anus bleeds save me:_ why do you like ruining me

 _butt rats:_ because we can

 _the torturer:_ MAHAHAHA

 

**_11:06 AM_ **

_the torturer:_ I ran into that Kageyama guy today

 _the torturer:_ he was lighting a tree in his yard on fire.

 _my anus bleeds save me:_ I

 _my anus bleeds save me:_ I heard him screaming “fire” or something

 _the torturer:_ he's a weird guy. Sheesh

 _butt rats:_ cum

 _the torturer:_ why

 _the torturer:_  why are you like this

 _the torturer:_ why do you do this

 _my anus bleeds save me:_ I'm

 _my anus bleeds save me:_ I'm gonna add Ushijima-san to the chat. I need help

 _the torturer:_ MAHAHAHA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	2. Did a fish bite your ding dong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my anus bleeds save me: I went skinny dipping
> 
> my anus bleeds save me: it was really nice
> 
> butt rats: did a fish bite your ding dong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I take a while to write these aah. I usually wait a while because I spend days deciding which of our conversations to use lol. Also because it takes a while for enough of our conversations to be enough for a chapter. Anyway I hope you enjoy

**2:28 AM**

_ the torturer:  _ fuck

_ the torturer:  _ I had to make a frappe today

_ the torturer:  _ and I thought of you g o s h i k i 

_ butt rats:  _ poop

_ butt rats:  _ b I g poop

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ I 

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ thanks for that

_ butt rats:  _ you're welcome

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ I was hanging out with Ushijima-san and we were looking up different men's underwear types

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ AND WE SAW A DUDE WEARING A SACK

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ J U S T A SACK I WAS SO CONCERNED

_ my anus bleeds save me sent a photo  _

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ L O O K

_ butt rats:  _ Is that Kunimi. From Seijoh?

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ Uhh… 

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ Sure

_ butt rats:  _ lol

**3:19 PM**

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ I went skinny dipping 

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ it was really nice 

_ butt rats:  _ did a fish bite your ding dong? ****

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ …….no

_ butt rats:  _ :(( 

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ but it was really interesting. I would do it again

_ butt rats:  _ I hope a fish bites your ding dong

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ that's r u d e 

_ butt rats:  _ lol

**12:00 AM**

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ I'm bored. 

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ r e a l l y bored. 

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ halp 

_ the torturer:  _ rip. 

_ the torturer:  _ go read a book, Goshiki.

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ noooooo

**2:38 PM**

_ butt rats:  _ cun

_ butt rats:  _ cum

_ the torturer:  _ n o

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ I 

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ same

_ butt rats:  _ lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ding dong
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> blobfish: ………
> 
> I don't help my young teammates: I am back
> 
> I don't help my young teammates: I am very concerned for all of your health.
> 
> I don't help my young teammates: You should all get some sleep.
> 
> blobfish: Thank you! Someone normal!
> 
> I don't help my young teammates: … no
> 
> butt rats: dead. I'm dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... Have no explanation for this 
> 
> Forgive me mom.

**10:47 PM**

_ butt rats:  _ hey 

_ butt rats:  _ guess what

_ the torturer:  _ W h a t 

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ I don't wanna know

_ Ushijima:  _ hello

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ PLEASE

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ SAVE ME

_ Ushijima:  _ I can't help you. I'm not even remotely close to you. 

_ butt rats:  _ HAHAHAHA

_ butt rats:  _ anyway 

_ butt rats:  _ cums 

_ the torturer:  _ S T O P 

_ butt rats:  _ No

_ Ushijima:  _ I'm going to go back to reading this manga. Goodbye. 

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ NO PLEASE DON'T GO USHIJIMA SENPAI PLEASE NOOO

_ shirabu222: ….. _ What the fuck is going on here

_ butt rats changed Ushijima's name to I don't help my young teammates  _

_ butt rats changed shirabu222’s name to I don't know what's going on here _

_ butt rats:  _ there.  

_ I don't know what's going on here:  _ …

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ p-please help

_ I don't know what's going on here:  _ nah. I dunno what's going on so I'm just gonna mute my chat notifications. Bye losers. 

_ butt rats:  _ T R I G G E R E D

**12:00 AM**

_ butt rats:  _ open up 

_ butt rats:  _ the butt

_ the torturer:  _ ew no

_ the torturer:  _ why do I always get made fun of. 

_ the torturer:  _ I don't mind because it makes everyone laugh… and I have an excuse to make fun of them back MAHAHAHA

_ my anus bleeds save me:  _ ….

_ my anus bleeds save me changed his own name to blobfish _

**12:30 AM**

_ butt rats:  _ I just threw up a bunch of popcorn and soda.  

_ butt rats:  _ and it was orANge

_ the torturer:  _ HA

_ blobfish:  _ ARE YOU OKAY!?

_ the torturer:  _ no don't ask him that! Bad!

_ blobfish:  _ ………

_ I don't help my young teammates:  _ I am back

_ I don't help my young teammates:  _ I am very concerned for all of your health. 

_ I don't help my young teammates:  _ You should all get some sleep.

_ blobfish:  _ Thank you! Someone normal!

_ I don't help my young teammates:  _ … no

_ butt rats:  _ dead. I'm dead. 

_ the torturer:  _ pfft. This is the best thing ever. This chat was the best thing created.  

_ blobfish:  _ true

_ butt rats:  _ NO ONE ASKED YOU 

_ the torturer:  _ WHAT HE SAID.  

_ blobfish:  _ b y e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
